Excuse me sir, you need a what!!??
So last week The Vested Interests launched and I had to find out what it was about. I recently started following him on IG and I enjoy his content, so I was looking forward to the site launch and what he was going to talk about. So as I’m reading through several blog post I come across this one headline “I Need a Suga Mama Who Gon Listennnnnnn”. ‘Ummmmm, excuse me sir you need a what?’ was my first reaction but as I began to read I was looking forward to his elaborating on what he meant. After reading the post I thought it would be interesting to give my take from a woman’s POV.
Let me first say that if we are not exclusively dating I am not getting into your finances. I have to see a future with you to even care about that type of matter but for the sake of my point of view I will deliver my two cents. I do want and expect a man to pay for at least the first few dates. If a man has a problem paying for our first, second or third date than he is a man I don’t want. In my opinion, a man paying for a few dates does not compare to the foolishness, fabrications and misrepresentations that I will potentially have to deal with when dating him. I mean can you blame me for feeling that way? And no I am not a woman scorned, just experienced. I actually don’t mind paying for a date, just not the first few; I think it speaks to who you are, how you feel about yourself and your expectations as a woman if you don’t require or expect the man to pay. I digress because that’s a whole other subject.
I will say also that I have certainly dated men who have made less than me, not a substantial amount less but less; in fact, as I sit here and type this I think all the men I have exclusively dated made less than me. My ex-fiancé made less than me but he had his ish together. He had great credit, a car, his own home and basically whatever he wanted because he was responsible with his money. I totally agree that not being responsible with your finances is a ‘no’. You don’t have to make more than me but be responsible with your funds. There’s no way I can call you ‘head of the household’ when you can’t even keep up your part of the household responsibilities.
Times have changed and I honestly think a lot of women are okay with dating a man who makes less money than they do. Truthfully it’s not about the money you make but it’s what you do with it. A lot of women are bosses and we finance ourselves, and we just want a man who can give us what we can’t give ourselves. I have a home, car, career and side hustle(s) and I want someone who is consistent, loyal, ambitious and hard working… Not necessarily who makes more than me. Of course that is a plus but if you don’t make as much as me let me show you and guide you so we can win together. Now the caveat to that is AMBITION; if you lack ambition and have no drive than we won’t work and I just might call you broke (if you act like it)… But just like with anything and as The Vested Interests stated, “There are no sure investments in this world, so it stands to reason that sometimes you’re gonna come up with a goose egg”; however you have to be willing to take that chance and not succumb to the predecessors before me. So go ahead and pay for them dates brothas!
Modus Vivendi VII is a blog written by Tori T, whose mission is to share the author’s thoughts, ideas, experiences and love for all things lifestyle while inspiring, developing, evoking and creating an outlet for her readers.